P.O. Box 2285
Framingham, MA 01703


	Home About Contact

29. What Do My Wondering Eyes Perceive?

How do you tell the good guys from the bad guys? Some bad guys are very attractive, have good manners and sometimes, are very charismatic! Here's a simple way to help you make up your mind. It's not foolproof but it is, at the very least, illuminating and instructive.

What you do is put the bad guy (or the good guy) in the center of a circle of all the folks he comes in regular contact with. Then you look at the circle and ask the question, "How are they doing?"

I've done this analysis for so long now that I can do it in my head but in the beginning it was too emotionally difficult and so I used a pencil and a piece of paper. I recommend that you do the same as writing definitely focuses the mind.

Write, "Aunt Sarah" or "Boss Bill", or "President Clinton" or anyone at all in the center. Then start adding family names, employee names or Cabinet members around in a circle. Make sure these people are in regular contact with the center.

Now look at those people and ask yourself, "How are they doing?" (Or, "How did they do?") If a preponderance of those people are doing well then the probability is high that the center name is a good guy. If they are not, then the probability of goodness drops dramatically.

I used to call this exercise (which I think came originally from a Scientology exercise) the Elizabeth Taylor Circle. That's because almost all of Liz's lovers and spouses had a bad time before, during and after knowing her. I think (Sen.) John Warner is the single exception and that was a relatively short coupling. Nicky Hilton, Michael Wilding, Eddie Fisher, Mike Todd, Richard Burton, etc., etc. were, how should I say, not emotionally, physically or financially enriched by virtue of their acquaintance with her.

I was trying, a long time ago, to figure out whether a member of my family was a good guy or not. When I did the Circle Analysis I discovered that this guy's wife was doing well but everyone else was doing poorly. When I shifted the center name to her the results were dramatic. Every single member of her circle of family (and friends) was ailing or dead! I was astounded because she was very affable and extroverted and always engaged me in a lively, sympathetic conversation.

Since I was one of her ailing family it (eventually) occurred to me that she might be a pernicious influence on me and I ceased seeking out her advice, counsel and almost all conversation whatsoever. I felt myself improved by this action. Continued use of this Circle Analysis has led me to conclude that I cannot (and now I don't even want to try) handle some people and some situations.

I now try to use, "The Handle or DISCONNECT! Technique" that I most strongly recommend. That's self-explanatory isn't it?

<< Back Table of Contents Next >>