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27. Chronic Emotional Syndrome (Male)

Gotta restate the obvious: I think the sexes don't inter-communicate enough and yet good communication increases everyone's happiness level. I see built in obstacles on both sides that arise from a simple lack of information. I'm trying to provide some pertinent info, as I see it, and my recommendations. (And leave out the jillions of jokes.)

The biggest obstacle to men's communicating ability is, in my opinion, the urge to procreate. The urge to procreate is not optional for either sex but they are different urges expressed in different ways. The CES (Male) is persistent from puberty to old age and again, not optional. It has been reliably estimated that the Mind automatically causes an injection of testosterone into the young male body on a minute-to-minute basis. I don't doubt it.

As the male body matures the stimulation becomes less powerful and less frequent but I wish both sexes would realize that almost anything, from a mental picture to a touch, any hint of sexual contact, can trip this Mind mechanism. Without any kind of stimulation the hormonal blast (raising the horniness level) is spaced out, as the male matures. Then it occurs, normally, over days, sometimes weeks, months and even years but it never completely dies out.

Continuous emotional stimulation prevents, like all continuous emotions, any reliable reasoning. Marlena Dietrich as The Blue Angel was the Mata Hari of her day and the Mata Hari of today is Monica Lewinsky. Mo was able, for months and months, to demonstrate (sadly) just how overwhelming the basic urge could be, even for the single most powerful man on the planet. Bill's response(s) was totally inexcusable but easily understandable to any man.

What males, young and old, do with this rocket-fuel injected into their bodies is to be reminded about mating. For males it can be exhausting, tedious and sometimes boring (honest) to regularly divert one's attention away from mating. That's the part, I think, that goes unrecognized or downplayed, particularly by women. It takes continued, and sometimes unknowing, self-discipline for a man to maintain his focus on other things. If a man doesn't realize that his body is automatically pushing him, he can become really confused. Being really perplexed, he can start doubting not only himself but women too.

Testosterone pushes men to make quick rather than reasoned choices. The Mind is, of course, push-pushing the survival of the species (through its classic device of survival through numbers). That's why the urge is unrelenting and non-specific to any female body. The ideal male propagator is a young one with fresh, strong genes but the testosterone continues flowing way past youth. Socrates said in his mid-80s that he was glad the 'madness of youth' had finally left him. Today some very unusual men can actually propagate in their very old age. Viagra will probably make them less unusual and more commonplace. This is the Mind, intent only on survival-through-numbers, at work with a vengeance!

I am optimistic, logically so, and can demonstrate that all things are improving. I think just the awareness alone of the human as a Spirit/Body 'sandwich' improves the use of reason. One of the greatest logical advances in the entire history of mankind is the computer. Communication between the sexes will improve, especially for men, because of the Internet that provides sexual awareness to a degree never seen before. Those that don't accept this fact have not been on the Internet to see for themselves how graphic, encyclopedic, and accessible it is. This free information is currently, in my opinion, boggling the Minds of men. But not for long.

There is no possible sexual activity that remains unknown to the Internet user. This absolute destruction of the mystery of sexual activity shows the contrast like never before between promiscuity and partnership, between sexual intercourse and social intercourse. The information (combined with easily available birth control for both sexes) leaves the urge intact but the choices (for women too) become starkly clarified and thereby much easier to make. It seems to me that women always did use much more judgment in their mating choices, basing them more on long-term stability than on immediate gratification. With the Internet streaming this sexual information, both erotic and pornographic, men will shortly, I think, no longer lag behind. I predict, as an internationally ignored authority, that tomorrows Internet generation will make vastly superior choices than we did. More information simply equals better choices, with less failure and more happiness.

The continued onslaught of sexual imagery that is in the beginning exciting, becomes with continued exposure, blunting. The portrayal of a male's erotic fantasies provides the insight that it isn't just the viewer responding but is universal to all guys. It isn't just Johnny responding it is a male response. A great relief can follow these insights, with all of the mystery and most of the heat removed from them. Then the mating urge starts to get placed correctly in his scheme for a happy life. Fantasies stay fantasies. What was initially riveting gets transformed into data that he can actually start to reason about.

Men will undoubtedly continue to be attracted to women, at least in the initial stages, to those who appear to be healthy, able to bear children and are willing to mate with them. The genus homo sapiens is a mammal and that is the animal-mammal propagation paradigm. But male's selections for partnership will be based on what, I think, are more female values. I am very optimistic about this happening because our grandkids are growing up with the pill and the unstoppable Internet. It is not realistic to expect the younger generation to be as unknowing about sex as we were. Nor is it technically possible to stop them from finding out (about anything!)

The casual attitude towards sex by the current generation frightens and appalls their elders. I say relax; there's not much a parent can do about what is a new, and better, morality being born. To the parents, I say stay in contact and keep talking about the eternal values of love and respect. To those younger, just realize how frightening it is for your elders to see an entire social value system, built on mystery and ignorance, crumbling before their eyes. I don't have specific guy recommendations for those still experimenting in the sexual arena because, it seems to me, the onrush of technology will force communication improvement anyway. (And I'm approaching Socrates' age.)

In the mean time, the universal uni-sex recommendations made in CES to disentangle one's Spirit from one's Mind, one's logic from one's emotions, will help a lot. You need both reasoning and emotions to really get the juice out of life.

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