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22. A Graceful Exit

I'm looking for a way out. Not now, but probably sometime, when the fun begins to wane, I want to make a graceful exit. I honor life so much that it is the backbone of my philosophy, but Dr. Kevorkian has a point with his 'assisted suicide' routine. I have considered an exit routine of my own a few times in my life and I know I'm not the only one who has.

I reject all self-induced exits for three reasons: it's too easy, not graceful enough, and probably, as all religions say, against The Supreme Being's wishes. I say probably on the third because I can't prove, correct as they may be, religious dictates either way. My rejection is based on my explanation of why we are here, i.e., to experience life, and suicide stops that completely. I think the probability is rather high that The Deity wishes that experiencing to continue.

But since I choose everything else in my life why can't I choose to make my exit a graceful one; doesn't that logically follow? Perhaps the phrase, 'choose to become aware of a graceful exit ', is more fitting. It seems to me we all can manage that.

The idea intrigues me, now more than when I was young, because of my spiritual reading. One of my more respected gurus says that you came here to Earth voluntarily and that you can leave voluntarily just by consciously deciding to go and not taking any other action. (That would be like Queeg-Queeg, the suicidal Indian in Moby Dick.) Another says there are a few exit-points in your time span and that you choose, or not, to use them. Same thing. I've demonstrated that we're going home to Heaven anyway so what's the big deal? *

The big deal for me is the graceful part. I want something like holding hands with my honey, my Friend, and then walking into the sunset, maybe with a good Dixieland band in the background. Or maybe a fade-out with wildly cheering fans and hand-clapping from my peers.

I am learning the technique of following my joy and it seems to be working. It seems highly probable that, when I really get the hang of it, a way to gracefully leave will become apparent because following your joy definitely makes you aware of all the power you have and of all the goodness that you are.

Increased awareness is probably leading even me, a classic slow-learner, to recognize a good exit. And I should be accumulating, with awareness, enough 'stage presence', to gracefully recognize my final scene.

Exuent, curtain (thunderous applause!)

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